The more people know, the more it hurts

She was too happy when people said their prayers and supports,
Even though it's just several words and emoticons through a cyber dimension, all of it means a lot for her

She was flattered when her friends who are far more inspiring than her take the time to greet her,
And the fact that she was nothing compared to them doesn't seem to diminish the sincere encouragement

She had promised herself to try her best for the sake of those people,
No matter how impossible or how scary it might be,

When the dreadful result was out,
Her father said it was not her fault,
Her teacher said that her performance was still good,
Her important friend told her to keep being positive,
Her classmates said that she was already great,
and her best friends said it was okay.

But she knows it's not okay at all, at least for her.
She didn't want to break out the news to the people who is so proud of her,
She didn't want to let them know how she didn't deserve all those praises at all,
She didn't want to show them that all those supports are for nothing,

If she knew things would unravel this way,
She'd prefer that nobody knows.

If she knew the hopes of her dearest people would go in vain,
She would choose to not be acknowledged,

If only she knew that people would react with such awe and sincerity,
She would practice harder, prepared more, and prayed as much as she could.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Thing That's Missing

She finally had the chance to start again, to determine what she wanted to be, what she would look like, and what would be her specialties. She was not too eager about it, but she tried anyway, because almost everyone that she knows did. The world had become much livelier compared to the last one, to the point that she couldn’t walk five steps without passing by another person. Other people might consider it as a good thing, yet it’s becoming too much for her. Similarly, she used to like showing up in front of her friends, doing something together in order to create memories to be reminisced in her old days. Nowadays, however, she is not like that. She didn’t bother to say hi, let alone to tag along with them. This might be because they were already ahead of her, and she didn’t feel like catching up. But for the most part, it was due to the void that exists within her melancholic heart. It must’ve been because she had no reason to be there, that the one person she wished to se...
Read more

Cherished Moments (1)

Image
It's been a long time since I wrote on this blog, huh? To top it off, my posts were all very gloomy! Haha well, that's because I use this blog to write the things I can't tell my friends (which is mostly about my sadness) But you know what? I'm going to tell you something different now. Something that gave me so much happiness during my stay for the first time in Japan. To start with, I was lucky enough to be selected as one of Universitas Indonesia's delegates in Asian Students Environment Platform (ASEP) 2017 in Japan. It was an annual event held by AEON Environmental Foundation, and all of the accommodations are fully covered! (otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford it LOL). There are a total of 8 Asian countries who participated in this year's program, and they are Cambodia, China, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, South Korea, Thailand, and Vietnam, with Waseda as the host university. Thus, each participant is grouped with 7 other participants from diff...
Read more